Lots of deep thoughts and good conversations lately. I had a nice cry with my mom because I was telling her how thankful I am to have parents that did not ruin me for life in any major way. In fact, I can actually say they did a pretty darn good job. I remember always feeling safe, loved, and accepted at home. I know my parents loved each other and I saw that in the day to day moments of our life. I don't remember huge arguments or people screaming at each other. There was a lot of laughter, traditions, and memories made together as a family. I am so grateful to be able to say that there is nothing significant I am planning on changing as a parent from how my parents raised me. The things I have done or will do differently are things that I want to add on top of the existing foundation I was given. I guess growing up I assumed everybody had it as good as I did. Now I know better. I truly believe that the home should be the primary place of ministry and modeling Christ in our lives, as opposed to putting on our Sunday best but living out something totally different the rest of the week; sadly for many many believers, the latter of the two is their reality. That has to be so confusing and disheartening for a child growing up in that environment! No wonder so many church kids grow up and stray far away from the faith.

Lord, let me not take for granted the gift I've been given and let me be faithful in passing that gift on to my children.

Friends.

Lately I have been realizing more and more the importance of having friends. Duh, right? To be a little more specific, I'm talking about real friends, the kind you can call on when you need something or when you don't need anything and just want to chat, the kind you are comfortable with and can really be yourself around. Let's call them "no-makeup friends." My life has slowed down a lot in terms of the grownup interaction I experience on a day-to-day basis, and it's hard for me sometimes to step out of being mommy and give myself the opportunity to be Christy without kids. This applies to actually hanging out with people and also to some of the friends I am only able to connect with on the phone. I think it's easier to sort of use that part of my life as a subject of conversation so that I don't have to think or talk about the "me" that exists apart from that role. Easier, maybe, but better, definitely not.

And therein lies the problem...it's a lot easier to be a surface level friend and it takes a lot more effort to be an intentional friend. It means delving deeper into what's really going on and putting yourself out there with the possibility that you might get hurt. And it simply takes time, which many of us don't have a ton of (although I kind of think you can choose what you want to have time for, but that's a different post altogether).

What I'm trying to say is, I want to be a better friend. And I want to have friends who are wanting the same thing. The past 7 weeks since Anna was born have put me into new baby survival mode, but I've had a lot of time to think and reflect, which is always a good thing. Life is never really going to slow down and friendships are never going to get easier to maintain and nurture. In fact, I think one of Satan's biggest forms of attack is to get us isolated away from the kind of relationships I've been talking about. I miss the level of community I have had in the past but don't really see much of now.

I know there are different levels of friendship and don't want anyone to read this and think I'm accusing you of not being a good enough friend to me...it's more about me and what I want to give. I realize that when I am connected to other people on more than a superficial level, it is mutually beneficial and forces me to take time to work on who I am - something I do a lot less often than I'm happy to admit. So to wrap it up, I'll just say that I am grateful for the friendships I have and the ones that are in bloom, and I'm hoping to do some "gardening" in the near future!

Grand Opening Celebration

And here it is...you know you have all been waiting for it...my amazing all-new blog! Actually it may not be amazing, or even interesting, for that matter, but it will be what's in my head at any given time. I've been slow to get one started and I may not be great at keeping up with it but I'm sure gonna try. Hopefully if you are reading it you will find some kind of occasional enjoyment, inspiration, or just something to laugh at. Like the title implies, I'm not promising anything stellar; just ordinary little me, walking along the road of life and sharing my comments on the internet. Enjoy.